Phil's Story

This is the story concerning my plight with the aftermath of my deployment to Iraq. My name is Phillip D Lewis. I am a 33 y/o Service Connected Disabled Veteran who lives in Portage Indiana. I was mobilized for deployment to Iraq in October 2004 with the Indiana National Guard. I was Medically Evacuated out of Iraq in 2005. I am unaware of the time frames due to the condition I have, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. When I first came back from the Medical hold battalion in Ft Knox, KY I was on so many different medications. My wife had to practically tend to my every need, and be a baby sitter to me. I had no control over my bodily functions I was incapacitated, without the ability to realize what was going on, or even where I was at. I ended up taking myself off of the medications because of what they were doing to me. The local VA facility in my area was overwhelmed with returning Veterans. Getting in for an appointment or being scheduled for an appointment was taking at least 4-6 months. I tried going to my family doctor, because I could get in faster there, and because he didn’t understand my problems he was of no help either. I had to return to work in order to keep things going for my family. I ended up being a safety risk on the job and was benched. In my despair I went to truck driving because I had to feed my family and keep my household afloat, the best I could. What really ended up happening was me running away from my problems with PTSD trying to push it away and believe that nothing was wrong with me. In all actuality it made everything worse for my family and me. The problems compounded more and more. I had to actually yell at a doctor at the VA that I was going to kill someone or myself to actually make them realize that I needed help. Why did it have to go that far? Why couldn’t I just get help in order that I may be able to get back to normal? My wife made a suggestion to start a support group for spouses, which implanted the mission I have before me today. In order for me to be well I need to help others get well and not have to go through the struggles that I had to, and that my wife had to go through. I know that if it was not for the strength and support of my wife I would not be able to relate my story to you today. She had to take a loaded gun out of my hands before I shot myself in my moments of worst despair. This was one of my many suicide attempts.

I finally received the help that I needed, through the VA and met with some really important people who helped change my life along with my wife. I realize now that the only way that I myself can get better, and become productive again, is to reach out to those who need help. My wife and I formed a non profit organization called Independent Veterans Society of Indiana, Inc. It is our mission to help Veterans and their Families who are in need. There is a need here in Indiana for the service we are trying to provide these men and women. One veteran we have been helping stated that if it wasn’t for the support and hope we gave him he would have gave up along time ago. He called us and said he finally received notice that he will be receiving SSD. Some of these Veterans loose hope, and cannot go through all the processes that they need to go through, to get what they need. A lot lose everything that they have had when they return. We would like to reestablish a sense of self worth to Veterans who may need help, to let them know that they are not forgotten. The war may not end for some Veterans when they return home. It is up to us to help lead the way out of the darkness of their experiences and bring to them hope.

We are not here as a separate entity but to be in addition too the other organizations whose purpose is to help Veterans and their families as well.